Extra Weight

Dear print, radio, and Internet advertisements (thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster I have stopped watching TV) that keep trying to convince me to shed my “extra weight,”

I have tried so many of your programs. They failed miserably, all of them in the long term, a good deal of them in the short term as well.

Therefore, I propose a couple of possible conclusions:

One, your products and/or systems are scams, in the style of medieval alchemists promising to turn lead into gold. Also for convincing me that the proverbial “gold” here — in other words, a thinner body — was something worth chasing.

Or two, none of the current weight on my body is “extra.” It is all a part of me, and therefore, I never needed your product in the first place.

Personally, I am a fan of three — all of the above.

Signed,
I would invest in some AdBlock software if it didn’t provide me so many delightful opportunities to deconstruct y’all. Also, it is hard to find AdBlock for all the rest of my life.

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One thought on “Extra Weight

  1. Pingback: Friday Links, 11/16/12 « Tutus And Tiny Hats

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