On the state of LGBTQ-related legislation in Arizona.
While the state’s current adoption statute allows unmarried people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, to petition to adopt, only a “husband and wife” may jointly adopt children. It does not provide for joint adoption by people in other domestic partnerships. In fact, if other factors are equal, current law gives explicit placement preference to “a married man and woman.”
In honor of the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia tomorrow, I wrote about the United States’ recent past with anti-gay and anti-trans legislation at PPAZ:
… a lot of the bias remains in what’s not covered — people and situations for which the law does not provide. For groups of people who are still discriminated against, harassed, threatened, assaulted, killed by individual citizens or private organizations — this lack of necessary legislation still causes active harm.
Because it’s that time of year again. Far enough into the year that all the end of year stuff needs to be done right now, not far enough that it’s already been taken care of. It’s longer work hours and no brain left for blogging. So you get search terms.
nearly naked yoga — Well, not here, no. But you go right ahead if that’s your thing.
assholes are people, too — Yes. Though it might be nice if fewer people were assholes.
pizzas diet — This sounds to me like an excellent way to ruin my enjoyment of pizza. I like pizza somewhat more than I think is average, but eating a primarily pizza-based diet strikes me as likely to cause me to get really fucking tired of pizza really fast.
gentle evening yoga sequence — This yin practice is my favorite that fits that description, though I’m certainly interested in other suggestions as well.
yoga poses to help you fart — Well, there is wind-relieving pose, which definitely is named in a farting direction. Truth be told, though, I’ve never needed much help in farting, with or without yoga.
post my boner — No. Get your own fucking blog.
“Yoga Body”: The Conspiracy by Danielle Prohom Olson at body divine yoga — “The implication that rippling abs can be yours with a couple of yoga classes a week is obviously motivated by profit. It is the creation of yoga studios who want you to buy more classes, and of corporations who want you to buy all the necessary yoga accoutrements your ‘yoga body’ needs (pants, mats, water bottles, mat holders, towels, mat cleansing mists, and even your underwear) directly from them.”
Define Self-Respecting Woman by Ragen Chastain at Dances with Fat — “Samantha Brick, no stranger to writing horrific things to get attention, has written another missive about how awful it is to be fat and how absolutely laudable it is that she will do anything to remain thin.”
Why I Believe Bra-Fitting is a Feminist Issue by Anna at Bras and Body Image — “As most of my readers will know, I consider my blog to be primarily a lingerie and feminism blog. However, at least on my wordpress, feminism posts have been far and few between – my blog focus is usually on bra fitting and reviews. What I haven’t mentioned is that I consider bra fitting itself to be a feminist issue, and today I thought I’d take a minute to give a few reasons why.”
Anti-Choicers: Why Do They Demonise Us? TW! by Aoife O’Riordan at Consider the Tea Cosy — “The only way that extreme anti-choice perspectives can justify themselves is to ignore the reality of the people who have abortions and those who support them.”
Top 10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Teacher by Nick Nafpliotis at RamblingBeachCat.com — “Having to poop and/or pee while you are also teaching a room full of children is excruciating.”
That last one — True. Fucking. Fax.
Does Waxing Get Rid of Crabs? by Anna at the Planned Parenthood Advocates of Arizona Blog — “First, in January, the claim surfaced that pubic lice (colloquially known as crabs) are being driven to extinction as their natural habitat is felled by razors and waxes. Then, just last month, a little-known STD called molluscum contagiosum got its 15 minutes when it was associated with the increased popularity of hairless pubic regions.”
I mean, I’ve made my pubic hair grooming choice, and I’m sticking with it. But as I’m also someone who scours the news for odd info and sexual health info, odd sexual health info is double my reading entertainment.
I am a teacher, and I am tired by An Anonymous Young Teacher at bgfay750 — ” Tired of being afraid to stand up for what I know is right for our kids and our country because I am afraid of losing my job and being unable to pay my bills.
Tired of my superiors being afraid to stand up for what they know is right for our kids and our country because they, too, are afraid of losing their livelihood.”
Pretty much. I mean, my kids make me tired too sometimes. But that is often the accomplished tired of, say, a good run — or the frustrating but stimulating tired of an asana that needs deconstructing or a lesson that needs reworking. That tired, I can do. That kind of tired renews.
It’s only when the source of my exhaustion is politicians — national, state, local, or site-specific — that it becomes draining, deadening. That tired does not get better.
Lingerie Nerd Time: What Happens When You Compare Bra Trends and Shapes Across Countries? at The Lingerie Lesbian — “I wrote this post because I wanted to explore the different shapes that I see as customary to countries with different lingerie traditions. Of course, these are not universal, as oftentimes designs travel globally, but given my lingerie immersion, I thought I would identify some trends.”
My interest in this post stems chiefly from the fact that I am planning on frittering away some tax return dollars on the scathing indulgence of boob support and so can now allow myself to think of bras again. Because my current ones, they are ragged and tired.
And a cup size or so too small. And that just isn’t helping anyone.
["Fat Girl" by Megan Falley. Video via YouTube.]
Just because it is awesome.
Feel free to add your own awesome links in the comments!
I’m updating mine. Who should I add?
My Students are Not “My Customers” by Michelle at Balancing Jane — ‘His attitude, though, and the idea that I was “on his dime” is one that is becoming increasingly popular on college campuses. Students are now seen as “customers.” The buzz word is everywhere. College staff wear IDs to provide better “customer service” and campuses need to adapt to their “customer’s needs.”‘
Fat, Trans and (Working on Being) Fine With It by Mey at Autostraddle — “So not only do I have to deal with the crippling dysphoria that comes from having a body that I often don’t even recognize as my own, I also have to deal with the cultural misogyny that tells me that a woman can’t be as big and fat as I am and still be desirable.”
Victim blaming in America has become something even deeper and uglier: the complete reversal of victim and perpetrator. by Zack Budryk at Style Weekly — “Two years ago, after CBS correspondent Lara Logan was sexually assaulted in Cairo, Egypt, and greeted by a wave of implications that she brought it on herself, I suggested in a back page essay that 2011 was shaping up to be the year of the victim blamer. Now, it seems I was wrong.”
Benevolent Sexism, Again by Fannie at Fannie’s Room — ‘But, the thing is, people who express benevolently sexist ideas are acknowledging that they view men and women as discrete, fundamentally different (or “opposite”) creatures and that they, accordingly, treat men and women very differently.’
Project Bendypants: Practicing Yoga While Fat by Tiffany at More Cabaret — “You see, I apparently committed an unspoken offense to many of the yoga teachers I encountered: I attempted to practice yoga while fat.”
In fairness to myself, I have written a lot in this past couple of days — keeping in mind that there’s a time delay between when I write something and when it’s scheduled. It’s a good way of amusing myself to avoid burnout.
low creativity — Well, yes. That is why I am doing this at the moment.
i’m tired of being a teacher — If you truly no longer enjoy teaching students, then perhaps it is time to consider a different career. It’s not good for teacher or students to be part of resentful learning. If what you’re tired of is all the extraneous bullshit that gets pressured onto teachers and teaching — Well, I think no one will judge you if you still decide it’s time to transition careers. But I think it’s shit when so many teachers get driven out of teaching for reasons that are not the actual teaching.
quad stretch — You know, I could use some good suggestions on this myself. The ones I know are either very gentle or very intense (hi and welcome to my tight quads); I don’t know of good in-betweenies.
svaly pánevního dna — I do not even know what this means… Okay, a few seconds later, I surmise this is a pelvic floor search in an Eastern European language.
everyday yoga grilled cheese — I think this sounds like a fabulous idea. Mine favorite is either plain Swiss or else cream cheese and arugula. What’s yours?
I was at the Planned Parenthood Advocates of Arizona Blog again yesterday, talking about endometriosis one last time. That post focused on endometriosis treatment and trying to sort out the pros and cons of various medical and surgical options.
If you are a nerd like me someone who likes clicky links to scientific studies (where free online) or abstracts (where the full text requires payment), this one is for you!
Which is a shame since I’ve been reading so much good stuff lately.
Fat-Positive Film Review: Sipur Gadol (A Matter of Size) by Laura at Tutus and Tiny Hats — “It’s so, so refreshing to see a movie in which fat people are treated as three-dimensional characters rather than played for laughs.”
Not Tonight, Honey, My Patriarchy Hurts [note for rape culture] by lishra at Liberation Collective — “But headache or not, it’s clear: women aren’t allowed to just say no. A ‘no’ and only a ‘no’, not a qualified lie of a ‘no’. Females have to be up for any PIV that comes their way… even if you feel sick to your stomach and any movement makes you feel ill, and you just want to be very still in a very dark room. Nope, the peen will heal you. Just lay back and think of your health.”
Warrior 1 and your SI Joints by Nadine at Yoga with Nadine — “I think one of my biggest questions at the moment is about warrior I. Do you have any suggestions for stabilizing in that pose? It’s an asana that I’ve always found challenging, and I’d love tips if you’ve got them.”
How I lost my ego through my bowels by Sarah Li Cain at Recovering Yogi — “I started practicing yoga when I was an expat in China. I didn’t speak a lick of Chinese at the time, and none of the classes were offered in English. I signed up for a two-year membership right way. Nobody said I make the best decisions.”
Weight Loss — Forsaking All Others by Ragen at Dances With Fat — “This happens because our society’s preoccupation with thin has elevated weight loss from what it is – a side effect that almost never lasts longterm – to this era’s snake oil.”
Unfit for Work Chana Joffe-Walt at NPR Planet Money [note for disability] — “For the past six months, I’ve been reporting on the growth of federal disability programs. I’ve been trying to understand what disability means for American workers, and, more broadly, what it means for poor people in America nearly 20 years after we ended welfare as we knew it. Here’s what I found.” (Found via my friend Jen.)
Also, feel free to share (or self-promote) anything you’ve been reading or writing of late!
Because I kind of am. I mean, I’d really this were a much more manageable condition already and be done with it.
Not only is endometriosis not particularly manageable, but it’s also often not easily or readily diagnosable — which is what I wrote about yesterday at the Planned Parenthood Advocates of Arizona Blog. A small sampling:
Wait. So you’re telling me that killer cramps of doom aren’t normal?
It also includes some suggestions I’ve learned may be helpful (either from personal experience or from other people with endo) for dealing with dismissive health care providers.
In case you read my blog and are not aware, I have endometriosis. (Yeah, that’s what that MenstroMonster tag is doing in the sidebar.) In case you are also not aware, March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. In light of that, I’m doing this whole Blogging for Endometriosis Awareness** thing. The instructions are thus:
Each week there is a different topic that discusses the various ways endometriosis impacts our lives. We all know that the physical aspects of the disease is just on facet of life and it impacts our lives emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
Physical impact that endometriosis has had on your life
And, well, yeah. Endo has done what a culture of misogyny, beauty myths, and fat shaming could not. I hate my hips. Which is not even actually one hundred percent true. It’s more like endo has caused unrelenting — but changing and sometimes unpredictable — pain and mobility issues in my hips.
It is nice when I don’t need to be plugged into the wall.
Endo makes it feel like my hips have betrayed me.
Some people have endo that blocks their fallopian tubes and clings to their ovaries. Some have endo that lines their bladders and bowels. Me, I have endo that’s crept into the muscles, connective tissue, and nerves of my hip and pelvic region. To get slightly grotesque about it, endo is eating my hips.
When I talk about endo to people, I find there are a lot of folk who want to categorize it as a condition that consists primarily of “period pain.”
I mean, there are the people — including far too many health care professionals — who want to dismiss it as “just” cramps. To each and every one of them I wish a well-seasoned outhouse, copious amounts of urgent diarrhea, and exactly two squares of TP. One-ply.
There are also somewhat more informed people who understand that endo pain is typically more severe than are standard issue cramps — but who still generally think of it as uterus-centered period pain, only more intense. They don’t account for the potential realities of people with endo to extend beyond periods, beyond pelvises, beyond pain.
I don’t hate my hips because they cause me pain, though I don’t exactly love them for it, either. At this point, pain is familiar, predictable. Not that I don’t cuss out my “sawed in half” feeling from time to time, but I’ve had a lot of years to fine tune a lot of coping mechanisms.
But my hips — home of my “powerhouse” muscles, as so many fitness articles like to remind me — are becoming unstable. I get stiffness and range of motion issues that are roughly cyclical — worse when I’m closer to bleeding, better when I’m further away from it — but that still change wildly from day to day. This means that my baseline for how to perform simple physical movements — standing up, sitting down, walking — isn’t something I can take for granted. More complicated movements — running, negotiating tighter quarters (like a classroom with three dozen desks), practicing pretty much any yoga — require additional amounts of concentration and physical negotiation. In addition to endo in my muscular and connective tissue, the endo along my nerves means that my memory of how to perform these actions may need adjusting not just from day to day but from moment to moment.
The upshot is that I thwap into things with my butt a lot and sometimes stumble for no visible reason because I have trouble determining where my hips are in space. Which, in addition to the bruising, leaves me worrying that people are judging my fat ass.
And also leaves me with questions.
Is this my new normal? Will it get worse? Is there a way to predict how I will feel when? What are my new ways to cope? Why does no one talk about this when talking about endo?
Where are the people who can help?
I guess maybe I don’t hate my hips. I hate that my hips bring up so many unanswered — and maybe unanswerable — questions.
** I want to acknowledge that the author of that post uses some gendered language to describe people with endometriosis. While endo does disproportionately affect women, it’s important to recognize that not every person who has endometriosis — for example, some trans* men or some folks who are genderqueer — is or IDs as a woman.
Also because I am too:
… to accomplish any more involved writing of my own. Maybe tomorrow. With coffee.
Anyway.
From the Testing Trenches at Librarian Shipwreck — “I gradually realized the truth behind a frequently expressed sentiment about standardized tests: the only thing that a standardized test can measure is a person’s ability to take that standardized test.”
The pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness by kaberett at Lashings of Ginger Beer Time [note for chronic pain, medication, gatekeeping] — “If you’ve seen me perform with Lashings, you’ve almost certainly seen me take prescription medication while on stage. You’ve likely seen me on codeine. And here’s what I can tell you for certain: you have never, ever seen me unmedicated.”
Hard-Wired to Hate Exercise? by Shirley S. Wang at The Wall Street Journal — “How people interpret their body’s sensations during and after exercise plays a large role in whether they enjoy it. Also, researchers at Iowa State University found that people’s physical capacity could be much lower than many realize, so many people push beyond their limits without realizing it.” (Found via Caitlin at Fit and Feminist.)
Detroit can’t recover economically with lead-poisoned children by Celeste Monforton at The Pump Handle — “A newly published study in the American Journal of Public Health reports a strong association between high blood lead levels before age 6 years and “less than proficient” scores on the Michigan Educational Assessment Program (MEAP) tests given in grades 3, 5 and 8.” (Via Melissa at Shakesville.)
The Stupidest Metaphor of All Time by A. Lynn at Nerdy Feminist — “Even if the lock/key metaphor wasn’t sexist, which it is, it’s also just totally illogical. WHY in the world should we extrapolate a fact that is true about an OBJECT to be true about our genitals?”
Especially these links.
Relax! You’ll Be More Productive by Tony Schwartz at The New York Times — “‘More, bigger, faster.’ This, the ethos of the market economies since the Industrial Revolution, is grounded in a mythical and misguided assumption — that our resources are infinite.”
A Rose By Any Other Name by Circe at Hysterical [notes for sexism, patriarchy, abuse at post] — “But being newlyweds, now I’m forced to decide what I’m going to do about my name. I’m already being assumed to be Mrs. Husband’s Name by family (heck, I even went by it informally with friends for maybe a week after the wedding), without my having actually changed it, and new people I meet have been jumping to the conclusion that, since I’m married, my husband is Mr. My Name.”
Come One, Come All! by JeninCanada at Fierce, Freethinking Fatties — “CALLING ALL WRITERS! Are you DEATHFAT? A Person of Color? A man? A member of the LGBTQIA community? First Nations? Ultra-rich? (Drop me a line! 
) Broke-ass poor? Immigrant? Emmigrant? Are you full of wisdom of the ages or just stepping out on your own?* We want to hear from YOU! These voices need to be heard, their perspectives shared, or else Fat Acceptance and the way it intersects with race, socio-economic status, gender, sex, and sexuality, will remain dominated by one very specific perspective; the white, cis, straight, not too fat (but still definitely fat) woman’s perspective.”
My Father, My Brother, My Husband, My Son by Ana Mardoll at Shakesville [note for hostility to reproductive rights] — “In his State of the Union address this month, President Obama invoked—for what is officially now the eleventy-billionth time—the framing that our economy is stronger when ‘our wives, mothers, and daughters’ can contribute to that economy without fear of discrimination and violence.”
Of thigh gaps, calories and ignorance about how bodies actually work by Caitlin at Fit and Feminist — “The obsession with the thigh gap is an example of the way the biological realities of our bodies have become totally divorced from the aesthetic ideals against which they are held. It’s not even a matter of form versus function. In this case, obsession with form – the thigh gap – obliterates function – the thigh’s ability to do what thighs do.”
I also wrote Body Phrases I Hate: “Junk in the Trunk”, which is over at the newly launched Glorify!.
My ass is not small. Never has been, at least not since puberty, when I started growing hips and curves and things.
Nor is it easily contained. Shapewear and other compression shorts do not reduce it. I have butt-split oh-so-many pairs of pants — even stretchy pants — that I purchased with my waist, rather than my ass, measurement in mind. The same has happened with at least a few pairs that were specifically purchased to accommodate my widest hip circumference.
While you’re there, please also check out this post! 
I’m guest blogging at Consider the Tea Cosy! — “I saved three lives today. At least, that’s what the sticker from the American Red Cross blood drive tells me.”
Have fun reading there, and stay tuned for one more guest blogging announcement soon.
My Plate Does Not Have to Be the Same as Your Plate by Kath at Fat Heffalump [note for discussion of food policing] — “I’m really struggling to understand why people can’t see that what other people eat is none of their business, and what they choose to eat doesn’t need to be moralised or proselytised as though it’s the only way to eat.”
Bisexual Women Almost Twice As Likely To Be Abused As Straight Women [notes for sexual assault, domestic abuse] — “The first nationwide study to break down domestic violence rates by self-identified sexual orientation has found that lesbian and bisexual women are at higher risk than straight women, with bisexual women facing especially high rates.” (Found via Feministing.)
I Don’t Care If You’re Healthy by Sarah at Radically Visible [notes for discussion of ableism and fat bias] — “A person’s right to an enjoyable life, to be treated with respect and to have access to all the things I want fat people to have access to, such as quality medical care and clothes that fit, is not predicated on how healthy they are.” (Found via Kath at Fat Heffalump.)
Closed for business at Exile from Hysteria — “The assistant cheerfully noted my surgery plans somewhere in my file, then pulled her rolling chair in close…. ‘Ya know, I’d love to get a hysterectomy,’ she said. ‘I’m so tired of getting my period. I mean, I’ve already had my babies, so what’s the point?’”
Pretty by G at Running While Fat — “Then I got to thinking about the complicated relationship I have with ‘pretty’, and how pissed I get that pretty is the best and most desirable thing to be.”
Living With Cancer: The Good Patient Syndrome by Susan Gubar at The New York Times’s Well Blog — ” I discussed my oncologist’s research projects, instead of complaining about pain. Generally I answered a nurse’s opening query — “So how are you?”– with a cheery “Good! How are you?” Grumbles about waiting interminably for a scan in a freezing room never rolled off my tongue.”
Endometriosis is not cancer, of course, but I know I’ve spent a lot of years doing the “good patient” thing. Though to a much lesser extent, I’m pretty sure I still do it now.
What to really expect at your first yoga class by Rob Pollak at Rob Complains About Things — “Most likely, these ‘regulars’ claim the same spot at that class every time it is offered. Look for spots on the floor that have been ‘marked’ by regular’s sweat. Steer clear of those locations.”
Permission to Flirt by Autumn Whitefield-Madrano at The Beheld [contains critical analysis of an image with victim blaming statements on it] — “The second time I saw it, though, I made it personal and mused for a moment about how save one ill-advised maxidress and one black sheath that hits just above the knee, literally every single one of my hemlines is within an inch of ‘flirty.’”
And finally, this video from Lindy West, found via Captain Jack and Alice [notes for fat shaming, misogyny, trolling on the video]:
I am having them — the post-holiday, second semester, too dark too long, isn’t-it-summer-yet blahs.
I’m still writing, and I’ll keep writing. But one of the things that energizes me about writing is to share it with other people. And sure, I share my writing here, and I read what other people write. But sometimes it’s also fun and invigorating to share here what other people write.
So I think more guest bloggery would be awesome, if there are writers who are willing. If you might be interested but haven’t read the Official Fine Print, this is what I’ve got:
Things You Should Know Before Deciding Whether to Guest Author Here:
In addition to other thematically-related post ideas you might have — and there are plenty — I’d like to offer some suggestions that might be particularly appropriate for guest bloggers (since they are by definition things I could not write for myself):
Of course, other post ideas related to body image, disability, personal wellness, and social justice are welcome too. I just don’t have specific ideas about those right now. I do, after all, have the winter blahs.
If you’re interested — however determined or noncommittally — feel free to drop me an email at anytimeyoga@gmail.com to talk more.
