Continued. Trigger warnings for relationship violence and self harm.
I blinked back the tears, refusing to let them fall. I didn’t run because I was leaving forever or even because I was scared of him. I ran because I was afraid of myself; I felt like I’d driven him to it.
I mean, I knew my statement would have been uncomfortable under the best of circumstances. And my phrasing — and in the context of talking about my dad — was far from the best of circumstances. If someone had insinuated that I was dating predatorially, I’d be pissed too.
But sufficiently pissed to use my physical force against them?
At the time, I thought it was reasonable. Or at least forgivable.
Or at least that I was the one out of line for feeling so bad.