An amalgam, only slightly exaggerated for humor, of most of the diet advice I’ve received (solicited or un):
Them: You don’t need to restrict calories to diet. Just eat sensibly, avoid processed foods, and cook whole foods at home.
Me: I eat sensibly, eat processed foods infrequently, and do most of my cooking at home with whole foods.
Them: Hrm. Maybe you just need to avoid [carbs/fat/meat/sugar/dairy/etc.].
Me: I eat foods that help me get the nutrients I need to feel healthy. Besides, I thought you said it wasn’t about restricting foods?
Them: Oh, you don’t! But you can use [bar/shake/frozen meal product] and it’s so easy and convenient!
Me: So it is about processed foods?
Them: Have you tried exercising more?