This is Casey, and this is Linus:
The gray one is Casey, and the other one (we call him yellow because in person — in dog? — he is precisely the color of a yellow lab) is Linus.
People who’ve known me for a while know that I’ve been doing voice overs for Casey since I adopted her six and a half years ago. When Linus came to us last May, it wasn’t long before the two of them took over my Facebook feed. Now I suppose it’s only fitting that they assert themselves on my blog as well.
Only now, at least, I will have a modicum of control. Because I like to pretend that Casey and Linus have super adventures when my partner and I are at work for the day. (Note: I have seen them on days when I stay home alone. They are mostly like, “Hang out on the couch? Stare out the window? A-okay!” But it’s fun to pretend.)
“They’re gone,” Linus said, flicking his Yoda ears toward the driveway. “Now get me out of here. How do you work this crate thing anyway?”
Casey sighed and got down from the bed, using the step stool her human had provided for her. She could jump, of course, but why? “The bolt,” she said. “Push it with your nose.”
“You’re on the outside,” Linus pointed out. “You push it with your nose.”
“Sure thing.” Casey began pushing. She liked to push things with her nose.
“Hey,” Linus noticed after a moment, “how come the people don’t put you in a crate?”
Casey sat. “Because they believe all I do is sleep on the bed all day.”
“I want to sleep on the bed all day. What do I have to do to get out?”
“Stop eating cat shit.” Casey slid the bolt open.
Linus growled. “But you eat cat shit too.” Nonetheless, he stepped out of his crate and leaped onto the bed.
Casey climbed both her stairs and rested her chin on the bed. “Don’t get caught eating cat shit,” she corrected. “Like, don’t trap your ass out by the litter boxes.”
“You mean like be sneaky?” Linus scratched his ear on the pillow. “I don’t need to be sneaky; cats are sneaky. I chase cats.” He raced off the bed and barked into the next room.
Casey whuffed, flopping on her side. “Flying Spaghetti Monster, this is the minion you’ve given me to work with?”