So, there’s a (probably unpaid, of course) leadership opening at my school. My principal asked members in each department to — confidentially — vote for what is basically a grade level department chair. (Our freshmen are teamed, and so freshman team teachers spend a lot of time with one another and relatively little time across grade levels — which, in the absence of seamless communication, makes for alignment issues. The sort of sub-chair position is an attempt to remove some of the jagged seams from our school’s communication.)
When considering the colleague who would best represent us, my first thought was, “Me.”
By the time I clicked open the nomination ballot, I was already mentally scanning my colleagues, trying to decide who I should vote for instead.
It’s not that I don’t want to the position or that I’m concerned about the additional responsibility, as it’s a position I’m currently unofficially filling right now anyway. As such, neither is it that I have doubts as to whether I’d be able to fulfill those duties competently. Objectively, there’s no reason I wouldn’t be a good candidate for the position and at least a few reasons why I might be the best candidate.
Rather, I resisted the idea of voting for myself because I worried that doing so was insufficiently humble. You know, that people might think I was full of myself for daring to believe that in a given set of people, I might be the best at something. Even now, I’m tempted to gush about how awesome all of my colleagues are and how each one of them would do a fine job as well — which is true but not actually relevant with respect to how good I am or would be at something.
So then I realized, “Fuck this noise.”
If the collective vote of my colleagues plus me selects someone else for the position — if this is what happens when too much awesome is concentrated in one place — fine. I can fully support whatever we decide as a group. However, if my gut reaction, followed by my carefully reasoned reaction, is to vote for me — then the best thing for me to do is to trust my own judgment, say what I think, and vote for me.
So I did.